You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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