You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
