I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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