yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
