My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize