What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I woke up under a house in Key West
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