if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I could make wine with my vomit
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
