Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
the liver wants what the liver wants
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
