He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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