***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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