I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
