I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
