Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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