giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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