3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize