The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
3 2 1 whiskey
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
