quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
