sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
