i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
