I just saw a hot homeless man
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
