her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
