I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Sorry about my life...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
