she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
