come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
