He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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