Plan B is the new Plan A
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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