Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
