you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Your dad touched me again.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
