so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
