jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the day after is always just damage control
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
