I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
