What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
