how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
