Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
