You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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