Soap is not a condiment
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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