Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
