and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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