This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
