I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
my being single is dangerous.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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