i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
