the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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