We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
