who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
