I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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