omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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