no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
