so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
