Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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