ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
