So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
